Dez Reads. In Penny Memory.

This week’s issue moves from nostalgia to absurdity faster than a robot face-planting onstage.

Mark here, sorting through a week of news that ranges from uncanny to unbelievable. So, business as usual.

Anne Marie leads us off with a eulogy for the humble penny, reflecting on the surprising nostalgia sparked by the retirement of a coin most of us haven’t used in years. From there, William takes us to Moscow, where Russia’s highly touted humanoid robot debuted by immediately face-planting in front of 50 journalists – proving even AI can have stage fright.

Katie follows with the tale of a pup navigating a Boston tunnel during rush hour, reminding us that pets will always find new and creative ways to give their owners a heart attack. And we close with a fortune teller who didn’t see her own arrest coming, as I dig into the $80 million fraud scheme that makes me question my own career choices.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

The Last Cent Standing.

NYT. The Penny Dies at 232

The end of another era, the American penny is officially out of commission. The Treasury Department cited “irrelevance of the coin and the expense to produce it” as what led to its demise. While this makes sense (or cents), as society is gravitating toward digital payments, no one – being or inanimate object – wants to be deemed irrelevant.

While it may be mostly useless as currency, the penny certainly holds a place in our hearts and culture.

I find myself feeling oddly nostalgic for something that’s not really gone yet, and that I literally never use. The penny reminds me of simpler times like penny candy at the local town store with my grandparents, heads or tails, tossing a penny in the fountain and making a wish… the list goes on.

As we bid farewell to the copper appearing, mostly zinc, token – some things will just never be the same: a penny for your thoughts, a pretty penny, penny wise and pound foolish.

Just my two cents.

– Anne Marie Malecha

The Not-So-Terminator.

NYT. Russian Humanoid Robot Falls on Its Face in Hyped Debut

Nowadays, we are always worried about other countries beating us in technologies like artificial intelligence, but for now, it looks like we don’t have to worry about Russia.

This week, Russian robotics company AIDOL showcased the country’s first humanoid robot powered by AI, with more than 50 journalists gathered to capture this historic breakthrough in Moscow. But walking only halfway across the stage, the robot tripped on itself and face-planted towards the audience, in a fashion comparable to the fall of Rocky Balboa’s Russian opponent Ivan Drago, according to this New York Times story.

AIDOL’s CEO Vladimir Vitukhin tried to do some damage control by telling reporters, “I hope this mistake will turn into an experience.” But the embarrassment was still palpable, and online netizens are not holding back with their trolling of this literal slip-up. One Instagram comment summed it up for me: “No more vodka for him.”

– William Kim

Bolt in Boston.

AP. Dog is rescued from a tunnel in Boston after wandering into traffic

I remember watching Homeward Bound and thinking… surely that isn’t realistic. Dogs don’t travel that far. Their paws couldn’t handle the ground; their ears couldn’t stand the screeching.

They just aren’t fit for romping around cities, or in this case, freeway tunnels. But I’ve been proven wrong by a real-life Bolt. In Boston last week, a fearless pup marched into incoming traffic during morning rush hour in the Ted Williams tunnel (and following pedestrian laws better than most humans I might add!)

Eventually, a police officer stopped all traffic and chased the canine around until he begrudgingly hopped in the back of the car. If this is your pet and you’ve been reunited, give him a warm bath and some extra bacon!

– Katie Runkle

Crystal Ball, Empty Wallet.

1news. Aus fortune teller accused of defrauding $80.8m from clients

I can’t sit here and say I’m shocked by this one. But eighty million AU dollars?

Australian police arrested a self-proclaimed fortune teller and her assistant after uncovering a sprawling AU$70 million (equivalent to 40 million USD) fraud operation built on “predictions” that her clients were destined to become billionaires. Her pitch was simple. Take out massive loans now, because unimaginable wealth was right around the corner… and of course she’d just need a cut to help “prepare” them for their financial future.

Investigators say the scheme ballooned far beyond fake feng shui consultations. It stretched into stolen identities, nonexistent luxury “ghost cars,” and a full-blown money-laundering network. When police finally raided her home, they found the usual signs of psychic prosperity – luxury handbags, stacks of electronics, casino chips, and even a gold bar. You know, the typical clairvoyant starter pack.

Seventy-five million dollars in frozen assets later, the only future this fortune teller failed to predict was her own court date.

Honestly, if seeing the future pays this well, I’ve clearly been in the wrong line of work.

– Mark Emerson

Don’t forget to check out the latest monthly issue of Our Take!

Subscribe now