Dez Reads. Fat Bear Week.

The last thing I actually enjoyed about social media, before I swore off almost all of it (my Politics Twitter addiction is sadly still intact), was Katmai National Park’s Fat Bear Week contest. The bears at Brooks Falls are so cool that I took my family to Katmai on my daughter’s 8^th birthday. Diane Chaaban leads this week with an exhortation to participate in the pre-hibernation democratic process by voting on the fattest bear at the falls at the end of this month.

The clear skies and insanely bright stars over the Aleutian Range may cause some to ponder their horoscopes, which Maya Shackley informs us are probably wrong due to shifts in the starscape over the past 2500 years.

On the other side of the country, Anne Marie Malecha returns from her summer sojourn to Nantucket with a story on the prevalence of cocaine in Nantucket wastewater. She assures me she is merely a passive observer, not a participant.

Bringing us home, William Kim chronicles the rise of…interpretive dance in local government advocacy? And Katie Runkle examines the outsized importance of the quarterback in the NFL, which cuts both ways. For every Josh Allen, there’s a Tua Tagovailoa.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

Mo Honey Mo Problems

MSN. Fat Bear Week is coming. Prepare to binge on bear cams.

Put your judgment glasses on, because it’s about to be the chonkiest time of the year: Fat Bear Week – Alaska Katmai National Park’s fluffy, tubby gift to the internet.

What started in 2014 as Park Ranger Mike Fitz’s genius response to people’s obsession with plumping bears on webcam, is now an annual internet sensation.

Fat Bear Week, starting September 23, has everything we didn’t know we needed. Boudoir-esque photos of corpulent bears in stunning Alaskan landscapes. Free access to March Madness style voting, complete with cheeky bear bios. And drama. In 2022, the bear cams even helped rescue a lost hiker. In 2024, one of the fat bears murdered one of his competitors.

This social media gold has been monetized as a fundraising effort for Katmai National Park, but participation remains gloriously free. Personally, for this high enjoyment, low stakes competition a la the Great British Bake Off (but with bears!), pass the salmon and take my money.

– Diane Chaaban

Your Horoscope is Lying

NYT. Your Zodiac Sign Is 2,000 Years Out of Date

I’ve never been glued to my horoscope, but I’ll admit – when I hear Virgo traits like practical, ambitious, and perfectionist (with just a dash of “helpfully critical”), I can’t argue. The twist? I might not even be a Virgo at all.

According to the New York Times, Zodiac signs are about 2,000 years out of date. Back when they were first mapped, signs were tied to the constellations behind the sun. But stars shift, and now things are a little… wobbly. December 17, once Sagittarius territory, now lines up with Ophiuchus – the forgotten 13th sign whose name means “Serpent Bearer.” (Which feels less like a personality trait and more like a bad Renaissance Fair job.)

Western astrology still uses the sky as it looked in 500 B.C., while Indian astrology adjusts for Earth’s slow teetering, like a top that’s been spinning too long. The Babylonians probably left Ophiuchus out because 12 signs fit the calendar more neatly. So, if your horoscope feels off, blame ancient time management.

– Maya Shackley

Blowin’ in the Sea Breeze

Boston Globe. Nantucket sewage reveals cocaine levels 50 percent above US average, according to data from health officials

Nantucket, Massachusetts is an East Coast summer haven. The island 30 miles off the coast of Cape Cod is known for its coastal beauty, historic charm, lighthouses, greying cedar shake facades, cobblestone streets, and as the birthplace of the summer wear staple Nantucket Reds.

Growing up a Midwestern lake life enthusiast and needing a seasonal escape from DC humidity, I found my way to Nantucket many years ago and it captured my heart. It seems my summer sanctuary, the “Little Grey Lady of the Sea,” is about more than biking, Gazebo mudslides, and beaching. Nantucket also has a penchant for cocaine.

I laughed out loud thinking of public health officials curious about rates of COVID, RSV, and Influenza coming across what I assume was a surprising statistic. Knowledge is power. File this under interesting $h!t, literally 💩.

– Anne Marie Malecha

Democracy on the Dance Floor

NBC. ‘I’m gonna do the backspin’: N.J. man breakdances to podium during town hall meeting

Working at a public affairs firm like Dezenhall, we manage issues and projects of all shapes and sizes, and we get equally creative about the tactics we use to advocate for our clients. But maybe not as fun and artful as the gentleman featured in this NBC story. Will Thilly, who is running for the Cranford Township Committee in New Jersey, decided to perform an interpretive break dance during a town hall to grab the attention of the mayor and demand lowering the township’s taxes.

Nowadays, it seems more difficult than ever to get our elected officials to hear our voices, but Mr. Thilly thoroughly embraced this challenge and succeeded in getting his mayor to hear him out through a flurry of robot dances, backspins, and moonwalking.

I am personally not talented or flexible enough to participate in our democracy with such style and swagger, but it is inspiring and entertaining to see how other folks are performing their civic duties during these unprecedented times.

– William Kim

The Gridiron Throne

The Atlantic. How Quarterbacks Became Sports Royalty

With NFL week 2 in full swing, it’s only right to discuss America’s true favorite pastime (sorry MLB…). Whether you tune in to ESPN, or Amazon Prime on Thursdays, for the excuse of having a beer with friends, or just to see if your parlay came in, this article by Seth Wickersham in The Atlantic is fascinating.

Quarterbacks may be ring leaders with a great throwing arm, but they’re also so much more. The psychological demands of a QB and the amount of public attention on them, along with the rigorous training and intense gameplay, are unmatched by many other careers and positions, even within the sport.

The allure of the QB position has dominated team fan base from the start, but undeniably so since Tom Brady left the New England Dynasty for the Buccaneers in 2020. He took almost the entire Patriots’ obsessive fandom with him to Tampa Bay and unveiled the question: Do we really care about each part of the well-oiled (or slow and squeaky, if you’re a Jets supporter) machines that NFL teams are? Or does it only matter who’s calling the plays? Has our shift towards candidate instead of party centered politics seeped into our football? Quarterback empires may be here to stay.

Stop bullying people for choosing a QB in the first round of their fantasy drafts. Speaking from experience, Jalen Hurts delivering 27 points every week just might win you the season.

– Katie Runkle

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